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Who God is to Me

Monday, March 3, 2014

It is one thing to hear about things and to know they are happening; it is a completely different thing to be right in the middle of it and see it with your own eyes.

Pattaya was quite the experience.  I am so glad it happened, but honestly I'm glad we only spent 4 days there.  We had some truly powerful times of prayer and evangelism, and my heart was just breaking the whole time.

We did a couple nights of evangelism, going out in groups of three, and I was involved in talking to an Indian couple working in Pattaya, a young woman tourist from Russia, and a Thai prostitute.  The Russian woman was so wonderful to talk to.  We talked about her life back in Russia, travel (places we had been and wanted to go), and other random things.  Then we asked if we could pray for her.
"Why?" she asked.
"Because God loves you."
"Me?"  She pointed to herself and looked absolutely shocked.
"Yes, God loves you!"
"You know this?"
"Yes, God loves you!!"
We prayed for her, and she asked us some questions.  It was so wonderful talking with her!
The Thai prostitute was a very interesting conversation.  She was so sweet.  She said she had lost her husband and then come to Pattaya to be a prostitute three years ago.  She had sat in the same spot, every night, for three years.  Sometimes she only got three hours of sleep a night.  She said she always tried to be happy on the outside, like all Thais, but she was so sad and lonely inside.  We all shared our testimonies with her, and told her that we weren't sad or lonely anymore.  We prayed for her, and she thanked us and said that she saw something different about our hearts.  We told her that she could go pick up an English Bible from the Tamar Center, which is a center to help prostitutes along Soi 6, one of the sex streets (she liked to read English to get better at it, but she was already very good).

**Warning: Contains graphic content**

Alright, so in my last post, I said we had gone prayer walking along the main sex street - correction that was ONE of the main sex streets.  On Friday night some of us went to the main sex street to prayer walk after evangelism.  This street is called Walking Street.  It is full of big, flashy bars and brothels and sex shows.  Manuel led our group down the street, and since he has been there before, he briefed us before we entered the street.  After telling us about the brothels and shows and window dancers, he also told us about boys that would come up to him with sheets of paper where you could request the "weird sex things" - children, the really weird shows, special requests - everything you could ever imagine, and even more that you couldn't.  I was so glad for the forewarning, but nothing could have fully prepared me for Walking Street.

I entered the street, and it was an instant assault to the ears and eyes.  Music blaring from every building, signs flashing, the street crowded with people, prostitutes lined up in front of their brothels in various uniforms (stewardesses, school girls, skin tight dresses, underwear) with number buttons (for ease of request), men with lists of shows coming up to you yelling, "Big bang show!"  There were pole dancers and window dancers.  Girls from Asia and Europe.  So many girls.  I saw a seven year old Thai girl, in a mini skirt and go go boots, face caked in makeup, dancing around seductively with a hula hoop.  I saw a twelve year old contortionist.

And the one thing that was common to every girl I saw was the utter lack of emotion on their face and the absolute deadness in their eyes.  There wasn't a single smile on that entire street.  Just complete hopelessness.

It was so hard to prayer walk.  I had no words.  I just kept repeating, "Jesus come, Jesus come, Jesus come."  I was screaming out in my heart for Jesus to come in his power and love.  I was crying out, asking God where he was.  My heart was breaking and I had to hold back tears the entire time.  The oppression and sadness and hopelessness over that street was so heavy, more than I have ever felt anywhere else.  It was so dark.

God of This City by Bluetree is a very powerful song, but it becomes so much powerful after having been in Pattaya, the city that it was prophetically written and sung over.

You're God of this city, you're the King of these people, you're the Lord of this nation, you are...

You're the Light in this darkness, you're the Hope to the hopeless, you're the Peace to the restless, you are...

For there is none like our God, there is none like You, God!

Greater things have yet to come, and greater things are still to be done in this city!
Greater things have yet to come, and greater things are still to be done here.

You're the Lord of creation, The creator of all things you're the King above all kings, you are...

You're the Strength in the weakness, You are Love to the broken, You're the Joy in the sadness, you are...

For there is none like our God, there is none like you, God!

Greater things have yet to come, and greater things are still to be done in this city!
Where glory shines from hearts alive with praise for You and love for You in this city.

Wow.  I listen to that song now, and tears instantly come to my eyes... Pattaya is so dark, so hopeless, so sad, so broken... but God is there!  He is bringing his light, his love, his joy, his hope, his healing.

I read this in one of our daily readings:

"In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind.  The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." - John 1:4-5

As pitch black as the darkness in Pattaya seems, it cannot overcome the light that Jesus brings!

After Pattaya, I was so overwhelmed with sadness and hopelessness, until I reminded myself of who God is and who he is to me.

God is my Savior.  He is the one who rescues me, and is capable of rescuing all his people.  He is just.  He is the Healer.  Every lost and broken heart is made whole in him.  He is the Redeemer.  He can use every situation for good, even ones that seem unredeemable.  He is faithful.  He has said he will come in and save, he has promised to heal, he is guaranteed to love, and because he has said it, he will do it.  He is joy.  He is the only one who can take away my deep sadness forever and make me really, truly happy inside.  He is peace.  In every circumstance, he can give me rest, in body, mind and soul.  He is light.  He shines through the darkness and makes it dissipate away.  He is love.  Above all else, he is love.  He loves me.  He loves you.  He loves everyone human being on this earth.  His love, if allowed, can come in and change hearts and lives forever.

And that is my prayer.  That God's love will come.

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